Bitterness.
A lot like affection, and interest, and attraction, I feel like you never know when bitterness officially begins, really, but you can identify it at some point and know exactly when it ends.
I realized that I have had these roots of bitterness growing in my heart. I can identify each one and to whom it is directed, I just can't remember (with the exception of one) where these began, and how to cut them off at the base of my heart.
This sucks, in my head I feel excused for being hurt, but they probably have no idea. I can see how this bitterness has affected my relationship with them, and some of my actions. Often in an unintentional passive aggressive tone.
One of these is strong and deep and wrapped around my heart many times, and I am not sure if I am capable of forgiveness. This person has not apologized or expressed any degree of remorse for their actions, even when confronted with it. So in my selfishness, why should I even consider forgiveness when they won't even consider regret? Why should I change?
I realize how juvenile this all sounds, and how selfish I appear. And I am even while writing this considering Jesus' command to forgive 70 times 7 times. I'm just tired of being accused, and I'm tired of being in trouble, and looking like the bad guy. Why continue to subject myself to this kind of battery?
Shi**y
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
It can be so hard to forgive Marty! It is so hard to step above our feelings and follow the footsteps of Christ. Bitterness is a deep root that is difficult to yank from the ground, but keep pulling! Bitterness and forgiveness seem so far sometimes (believe me I know) and it is a struggle, but I pray that you find peace and if you ever need to talk, let me know. I am here for you!!! Even if it is at 2:00 a.m. I will roll out for you. P.S.-Rachael and I are sorry if we did anything to you!!! :) Love ya buddy!!!
Thanks Ry-town. You did'nt do anything. You guys have been great friends.
I figured. I was being more sarcastic than anything. We love you guys a ton!!!
This is exactly what our life group was about last semester. The bait of Satan is offense that roots in our heart as unforgiveness and bitterness. Our act of forgiveness can't be based on other's recognition of how WE think THEY should feel. It is solely based on our obedience to Christ and Him forgiving us knowing we would blatantly disobey him countless time. Our emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being rest on our release of responsibility towards the other person. Their outlook, opinions, and reactions to us are THEIR responsibility and their's to be accountable for when the time comes. Until then, it is our responsibility to forgive so we can have NO walls between us and our Father. I pray you would find peace in the release of forgiveness towards whom ever has offended you.
Post a Comment