the way we used to be

yeah...it's been a long time since I've done this. But I feel like I need to get this stuff out. I don't know why here and not somewhere else.

I'm stressed. This stress has been building in me, and building, and building. Rock Climbing used to be a release. It was awesome. But here, while I am working all the time, dealing with people in my life who undermine me. It's getting to be too much. I can feel it all welling up in me and I see the effect it has on my in how i treat the people I am around while I'm here. People I'm supposed to be Jesus to. But I don't know how to keep this stress inside. I feel like its just below the surface.

I don't know what to do. It seems like my time here is almost done, but I don't want these bottled up feelings to cause lasting damage to my soul and my heart. i don't want to be angry. I don't want to hold this bitterness inside. I know God wants it gone too. I just don't know how to let go. I need to. I need this anger and stress and feeling of betrayal to go away.

I just don't know how. or why.